The Rules

A few years ago, I made a list of rules with two of my friends -- Holly and Jenny. We were a little tipsy and we used to be more awesome. We've mellowed and maybe even dulled. Holly rediscovered the list of rules and I have decided to share them with you. Some sound a bit repetitive and some probably won't make sense to you but, they are still good rules to implement.

1. Hos before bros.
2. Keep your shit clean.
3. It is perfectly acceptable to retrieve gum from the cleavage via your own tongue.
4. Airing it out is advised.
5. Chickity-check yourself before you wreck yourself.
6. Don't hate this cause you ain't this.
7. Stay fly.
8. Respect books.
9. Call your mom.
10. Above all else, remain sassy, classy + fabulous.
11. When it doubt, nap it out.
12. Don't hate.
13. Glitter.
14. Flip your hair to keep your cool.
15. Remember -- "Some people weren't likin' it!" *sassy head bob*
16. Say yes to plaid.
17. _____________________________________________.
18. Donuts.
19. Pay your taxes.
20. Pop, lock + drop it like it's hoooot. (quasi Snoop Dogg).
21. Giggity giggity.
22. Beware of cougars on the prowl.
23. Always leave your # for hot waiters.
24. Beauty rest.
25. Always check ingredients to make sure the booze is already in your mix before finalizing purchase.
26. "My bad" is always an acceptable apology.
27. Rounded corners.
28. Life is just a series of awkward moments, so don't take it too seriously.
29. Live it up, because you're already dying.
30. Christina Aguilera.
31. "Say what you need to say." -- John Mayer.
32. Chew w/ your mouth closed.
33. Don't talk w/ food in your mouth.
34. Use correct grammar.
35. Be cultured. Get a passport.
36. Sacred days. July 11, December 10, October 19.
37. Lead by example.
38. Appreciate a good robot.
39. Getcha head in the game.
40. Always have an outlet for your rage.
41. Always thank the writer.
42. Do not display dishonest affection.
43. Keep your feet soft.
44. Always moisturize/exfoliate.
45. Children should be seen + not heard.
46. Combine words when possible, to save time.
Ex: "fugly"
47. Cuddling may prevent cancer, so do it.
48. Bend + snap.
49. Always take your makeup off before bed.
50. Recognize.
51. Eat a burger.
52. All work + no play makes Jack a dull boy.
53. Take a mental health day.
54. Make up your own soundtrack.
55. Respect the sanctity of other people's personal mugs.
56. If you get the choice to sit it out or dance, dance.
57. Beware of emo boys bearing gifts.
58. Be soulful once a day.
59. Don't leave nasty-ass soup cans in the sink.
60. Don't show your Britney.
61. If it walks + talks like a whore, punch it in the throat.
62. Don't overdraw your bank account.
63. Use Q-tips.
64. Adopt a signature walk/power stance.
65. Many a false step is made by standing still.
66. Always wash your hands.
67. Never live the mauve lifestyle.
68. Chocolate. Do it.
69. Acknowledge your fears.
70. Find a way to rock leopard print.
71. Praise the lord.
72. Paint your toes.
73. Never stay for an appointment w/ someone who is more than 15 minutes late.
74. ________________________.
75. Pepper your conversion w/ movie quotes.
76. No excuses, play like a champion!


Go forth and be excellent to each other.